Saturday July 24, 2021
Human beings are known as social beings. Since the time we are born, we start developing a web of social relations around us in the form of family, friends, colleagues etc. Our engagement, bonding and the duration of the ties differ in each of the relationships. But when asked, which is the most cherished relation in our life? The unanimous answer is – the one between a parent and child.
The parent-child relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional and social development of a person since the time of birth. Therefore, a healthy parent-child relationship is extremely important to lay down a strong foundation for the child’s personality, life choices and community behavior. In order to emphasize this point and promote responsible parenting, a National Parents Day is celebrated.
All personalities are unique, and when nurtured in the right way, they blossom beautifully.
Emphasizing the role of parents, Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, an enlightened being says, “Every young adult has the potential to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support.”
To gift our child a happy life ahead, here are a few practical ways for an all-round parenting approach:
Role-division of parents
Parents should discuss and divide the responsibilities of children amongst themselves. Ideally, until the age of fourteen, a child needs more of mother’s love and attention. During this time, fathers may restrict their involvement to the important life-impacting decisions like: in which school to get their child’s admission, what career could the child pursue, etc. After the age of fifteen, let the father take a lead role in child development. This is a critical role for a father to help his child grow in a manner that he can take on life and execute the responsibilities in the right spirit.
Love in one eye and strictness in the other eye
At times, children get provoked on the wrong path mainly because of the over-display of love by parents. Therefore, parents ought to bring about normality in everything. Maintain love in one eye, and strictness in the other. Strictness does not harm the other person much; anger causes a lot of damage. As parents, say everything, but dramatically. What is considered to be drama? It means calmness prevails within, even when you are showing the anger externally.
Don’t control; Shower love from the heart
This is a most important role of parents. When you speak to your children, it should not be with an authoritative tone. For example, if a child gets 60% marks and shows to the father, the father should say, ‘It is good that you have passed the exam, but this is not sufficient. I expect from you a better result of around 85 % so that you can become a good engineer’, and then leave the topic. After that, don’t keep on reminding him that you asked him to get good marks. He already has it in his mind. If you keep on nagging, he will tend to ignore your words.
Param Pujya Dadashri explains that until the child is seven to eight years, and he makes a mistake – the parents have to discipline the child as necessary; up to the age of twelve to fifteen, you can guide them; but after sixteen you have to be friends with your children. If you become a friend to your children, they will improve. But if you assert your authority as a parent, you will risk losing them.
These are just some of the keys to build a strong and a healthy relationship with your children.
No matter how old the child grows, only situations change, but principles remain the same always. Hence, on this Parents Day, let us introspect, and resolve to strengthen our relationship with our children, who will also become good parents to their kids in future, thus producing an entire generation of responsible citizens.
Wishing us all a Happy Parent’s Day!